


Let Cecil Swear

by Doctor_Discord



Category: Welcome to Night Vale
Genre: Cecil Has A Third Eye, Cecil is a Dork, Hilarity Ensues, Let Cecil Swear, On air, Stubbed Toe, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-01
Updated: 2019-08-01
Packaged: 2020-07-28 09:58:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 454
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20062162
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Doctor_Discord/pseuds/Doctor_Discord
Summary: I'm halfway through ep 114 and Cecil kept saying 'blank' to censor the City Council's swearing in a press conference andthis was born becauselet Cecil swear dammit





	Let Cecil Swear

"And now, the weather."

Cecil pressed a button on his soundboard and let the weather play. He leaned back in his chair, stretching languidly with all three eyes slipping shut for a brief moment. He flashed a lopsided smile as he went boneless in his chair. Today's weather was fairly long, maybe he could manage a phone call with Carlos before it ended.

Standing up and making his way over to his purse (covered in fuzzy neon green and bright orange synthetic fur in a checkered pattern. Carlos thought it was hideous, Cecil thought it was fashionable. Plus, it glowed in the dark), Cecil rummaged around in it, making a triumphant noise when he whipped out his phone. He turned back to his desk, took two steps, and promptly stubbed his toe on a leg of it.

"Oh _fuck!_" Cecil pitched forward, hands and consequently phone landing hard on the desk's surface as he tripped. "Fucking _ow!_" He drew in a sharp hiss of breath through his teeth, glancing down at his abused toe. _Curse his decision to wear sandals - _was that blood? Cecil collapsed into his chair, pushing up his glasses as he rubbed at one of his eyes with the heel of his hand and pulled his foot into his lap. "God_dammit_, that fucking _hurt_. Why can't _that _be illegal, that's a much better use of Council power than banning _wheat_." His tow throbbed. "_Shit_, fuck!"

Suddenly, the ringing of his phone pierced the air, and Cecil glanced up at it. Carlos' smiling face beamed up at him from the screen, his name spelled across the top. Sighing heavily, Cecil reached across his desk to pull it closer. He answered, tapping it to speaker as he continued to inspect his poor toe. "Hello?"

_"Ceec. Honey. Your mic is on."_

Instantly, Cecil felt all the blood and color drain from his face, all three eyes blown wide. There was a moment of pure silence, the weather dwindling out in the background. "Um." Carlos giggled into the phone, and Cecil frantically checked his mic. It was indeed _on_. Paling _significantly _further, Cecil shifted closer to his mic, adjusting it a bit in what was really more of a stalling, nervous fidget than actual adjustment. He cleared his throat. "Um. Listeners, I...must apologize. I...must've forgotten to turn the mic off when I switched over to the weather. I uh..." He swallowed, fidgeting with the mic again as another lengthy pause drew out in the studio.

Carlos snorted on the phone, clearly trying to muffle how much he was laughing, and suddenly all of the blood rushed back into Cecil's face and he flushed _deep _purple. "A-and now a word from our sponsors."

**Author's Note:**

> So I guess I'm sticking around in the world of stupid Night Vale crack fics.


End file.
